School’s In Session

Today marked the first day, of my first child’s, first grade year.   School is old hat for our family, our preschool and kindergarten are thankfully housed in our grade school.  First grade was an easy transition for us.  Not all walked away unscathed.  I saw lots of tears; and not just from the new First Graders.  Mom’s armed with cameras and tissue gathered in hallways, sharing stories of goodbyes.  Some made plans to meet for coffee, to cry into their Starbucks a bit.  Others hurried on to jobs, or siblings. 

I was excited.  Grace, (my daughter) was excited.  We have a great teacher, Mrs. F is an institution at our school.  Loved, respected, gentle and kind.  She has Walking Sticks and a Rat in the classroom.  I’m not looking forward to parent help days, I am not comfortable with rats.  However, these two creatures rank pretty high in my daughters book.  She raced into school, backpack bouncing on her little shoulders, skinny legs going as fast as she could.  Past her also very lovely, Principal, who gave a gentle slow down as she past.  But I saw the smile, the happiness at seeing his school kids so eager to get back to learning.

We shed no tears, my daughter and I.  I took pictures, after all it is a pretty big deal, it is First Grade.  We went over bus schedules and snacks and lunch.  We found her desk, her hook, her cubby.  We hugged and kissed goodbye.  I asked her to be her best, and to have fun.  She asked me to be at the bus stop early, just in case.  I lingered in the hall.  Commiserating with the other Mom’s.  We made plans, we went down the road to Starbucks, we ordered coffee and pastries.  We toasted our little ones and our freedom.  (Mine less then others, I have a 4 year old.) 

Then I came home, home to my four year old and my Mom.  She said Liberty was pretty sad, missed Grace already.  My Mom left, and Liberty and I were left in this quiet empty house.  Both of us looking for our new schedule, our new rhythm.  It’s been nice, just time between the two of us.  I can see myself getting a lot more done.  But Grace has been gone nearly 6 hours and frankly, I feel like I’m missing out on her life.  Pretty pathetic, huh? 

At nine this morning I was almost gleeful to be shipping her off to someone elses care.  Now I feel borderline weepy.  I’m counting down the next hour until the bus drops her off.  Anxious to hear all about her first, whole day of school!  Anxious to go through her backpack, see the notes home, inventory what she ate for lunch and snacks.  I know Liberty has a whole lot planned for her too.  She has layed out toys they can play together, books to color and read, she is ready to have her sister back.

Who ever thought that this transition would be so difficult for a whole family.  I wonder about college, or even second grade.   Or if it will be easier when Liberty starts first grade.  I suppose that is what parenting is.  Lots of pushing from the nest, waiting for your birds to fly, hoping they don’t fall and wanting to tuck them safely under your wing.

I’ve Got the Peanut Blues

We have a peanut allergy in our home, we’ve had it for roughly four years.  And for four years we have functioned with very little incident, but the ones we’ve had have been frightening.  It all started when my  now four year old was 18 months old.  I felt quiet sure that since no one on either side of our family has any known food allergies, she would be fine eating a portion of my peanut butter Cliff bar.  Almost immediately she had hives covering most of her body, I sprung to action. I called our Pediatrician who told us to get to the Hospital as quickly as possible and they would call to let them know we were coming.  They instructed us to call 911 at any time we thought she wasn’t breathing. 

I cannot explain the sheer terror, in that moment, watching my otherwise perfectly healthy child suffering so horribly.  I did everything any other Mom would do.  Swept the house for any peanut product I could find, bought a medical alert bracelet, 5 epi-pens, I called ahead to ensure that restaurants could produce non contaminated foods.  I’ve worried about when she starts school.  Our preschool has gone completely peanut free, and no one has missed it.  I should add that I love peanuts, there has never been a peanut that I haven’t enjoyed.  I miss peanuts.

Our public schools will not go peanut free, kids like peanut butter, it’s easy to prepare a pb&j.  I understand that.  But this isn’t an allergy like hay fever, or even a gluten allergy.  It can be life threatening in some cases, and every exposure makes the allergy intensify.  Most people do not know that a person with peanut allergies does not have to ingest peanuts, just having the oil touch them can cause a reaction.  In some cases, severe cases, even air born particles can cause a reaction.

Peanut allergies are growing in our country for whatever reason, it is an unfortunate truth.  And as a society we cower to so many ridiculous requests.  We don’t acknowledge holidays as to not offend, we don’t say the Flag Salute because some people don’t like God.  Little boy can join the Blue Birds, for heavens sake.  But we can’t protect children from something that can cause so much harm, including death.  There is decidedly something wrong with our society.  I have read articles, of incidences of peanut free schools, having children bring peanut butter sandwiches with instructions (given by their parents) to smear it on the student with the allergy. 

Last week my daughter was at Vacation Bible School, and the first day they served trail mix.  Her teacher knew she had an allergy and that the mix included peanuts, so she removed Libby from the room, fed her a separate snack and made sure that the other children washed thoroughly before returning to the classroom.  Three days later, in a room separate from where snack was served, my peanut found a peanut.   It was just lying on the floor, and she picked it up, held it for 30 seconds before her teacher saw it and took it from her.  And withing seconds was needing medical attention.  I am so thankful that her teacher was so careful with my child, that she reacted so quickly.  The Minister was horrified, and vowed that they would never serve peanuts again.  The thing is, it was a pretty harmless snack, and they took precautions, and still accidents happen.  And it usually is just an accidental exposure.

So if your a parent, a school official, any one with any pull over public schools I beg you to consider going peanut free.  Kids who can enjoy peanut products can still enjoy them at their homes.  But have some compassion for us Mom’s who send our little ones into the world, filled with worry over their safe keeping.  Because on top of worrying that they will be safe, that they will have a good day, that they will make friends, we have to worry for their little lives.

School Supply Lists

You might accuse me of being easy to please.  But I find the simplest things in life totally joyful.  One of the pleasures of my childhood, that I now experience with my kids is school shopping.  My Mom was a teacher, so school was a big deal in our house, I credit her for my love of sharp pencils and fresh paper.   I want to pass the excitement of a new year, new friends and new teacher on to my two girls.  So we’ve been anticipating our school supply list.  Grace is starting First Grade, I was expecting a pretty fun shopping list.  Pencils, crayons, pens, glue sticks, erasers…the usual. 

• A Backpack with your child’s name on it
• A pair of tennis shoes, labeled to leave at school
• and a Forty dollar check

That was the school supply list.  Are you kidding me?  This is criminal!  It’s awful!  What does this do to prepare students for the start of a new year?  How does this teach them to be responsible for their belongings?  It doesn’t, at all.  It doesn’t make it easier for families, in fact I would guess that it’s actually more costly then just giving us a list.  And there is no way to build excitement for a child who’s hesitant to return to school.

Part of the excitement for my brothers and I was looking through the Sunday paper at the adds.  Planning our shopping, planning what color binders we would pick, what type of ruler.  We will still shop for supplies, I will join the PTA, I will try and change this awful practice.  It was bad enough that teachers were asking each student to bring 20 glue sticks, without writing your name on them.  Fifty pencils to share, four pairs of scissors, and a colored pack of dry erase markers for the teacher.  And I understand that not all families can afford to purchase school supplies for their children.  But teachers can have an addistional  list, and ask families to purchase two extra of certain items.  Or teachers could give a supply list and ask for $10.00 from each family to help purchase any needed supplies.  After all, life is not fair, it is not equal.  It is a  lesson we all have to learn, as we all know someone will always have something better, newer, more expensive.  But it’s also important to learn to be satisfied with what you have, and to take care of your belongings. 

I may be old fashioned, I graduated almost twenty years ago from highschool.  Maybe this is the way of the future, but I’m not putting down the Elmers Glue and Crayola Crayons without a pretty good fight.